We've got the down-low on everything from the green revolution (cannabis is dethroning alcohol, whaaaaat?) to a burger that costs more than your rent (gold leaf, anyone?). Feeling fancy? We've got a flying electric surfboard that'll make you look like a futuristic water god (or a rich goofball, depending on your skills). And to round things out, we're serving up some...edible insects? Don't knock it till you try it, apparently cicadas are the new lobster! So, grab a snack (maybe not a cicada just yet), settle in, and get ready for a Sue-per fun list!
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For Statistics
Beer? Nah, Bro. Daily Doinks Are the New Buzz
Move over Michelob, make way for Mary Jane! Daily weed smokers have officially outnumbered daily drinkers, according to a hilarious new study. That's right, 17.7 million people are now lighting up every day, compared to just 14.7 million boozehounds. Looks like millennials are trading hangovers for happy highs, with daily pot use skyrocketing 15 times since the grunge days.
This green revolution is causing a stock market doobie. Pot stocks are on fire, with some jumping a whopping 75% this year. Even the feds are getting in on the action, planning to reclassify marijuana, which has investors puffing on clouds of cash.
Meanwhile, beer companies are sweating like a dude in a Cheech and Chong movie. With fewer youngsters reaching for brews and fancy no-booze options everywhere, these traditional tipplers are scrambling. Mergers, acquisitions, cannabis investments – you name it, they're doing it, all to stay afloat in this new, greener market.
So, is weed the new king of daily consumption? Only time will tell, but one thing's for sure: the future is looking a lot more lit... literally.
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For Unusual
This Electric Surfboard Makes You Jesus on Water
Forget the days of paddling - enter the eFoil, the electric surfboard that lets you skim the water like a futuristic dolphin (or maybe a particularly smug seagull).
These things are the hottest trend in boarding, mainly because who needs wimpy waves when you have a silent electric motor rocketing you forward? Lift, a fancy company from Puerto Rico, is big in the eFoil world, and their new Lift4 is basically the Michael Jordan of flying surfboards.
Here's the skinny: this all-carbon-fiber wonder comes with a battery that'll last you a solid 2.5 hours of hoverboarding glory. Plus, they've jazzed up the controller and the wings for a smoother ride, and the motor is so quiet you can pretend you're one with nature.
Oh, and for all you fancy folks with superyachts (because apparently these things are superyacht toys now), Lift will even throw you a custom paint job on your eFoil. We're talking wild two-tones and trippy fade effects. Now, the downside (besides needing a small fortune): you gotta pick your perfect eFoil setup. Lift offers different boards, wings, and mast heights depending on whether you're a carving champion or a sightseeing newbie. There's even a "Pro" model for the crazy adrenaline junkies who want to feel like they're in a futuristic water ballet. The good news? All this electric Jesus-on-water action comes with a snazzy transport bag and a fast charger, so you can be back on the water shredding waves (or more accurately, hovering serenely above them) in no time. Just be prepared to shell out some serious cash. These toys start at around $20,000.
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For Explore
Burger Ballin': $1,876 Gets You a Cowboy Hat and a Fancy Burger
Forget happy hour, the Montage Deer Valley's Burgers & Bourbon restaurant in Utah is serving up a $1,876 burger experience! Imagine: A5 Wagyu stacked with caviar, truffles, and a gold leaf bun. Feeling fancy yet? But wait, there's more! This ain't just a burger, it's a lifestyle. After devouring this meaty masterpiece, you'll be whisked away to craft your own custom cowboy hat. Talk about a truly udderly luxurious experience. This isn't the only crazy burger out there. Remember when a place in the Netherlands offered the $6,000 "Golden Boy" with king crab and Macallan BBQ sauce? Or the $900 foie gras burger in Japan? Buckle up, because Houston's H Bar just launched the "Black Gold" burger for a cool $1,600. It's got all the usual suspects: Wagyu, truffles, foie gras, PLUS 24-karat gold leaf because, you know, Texas. For that price tag, you also get fancy gold fries and Dom Perignon champagne. Thinking a regular cheeseburger might be more your style? You could get 666 In-N-Out burgers for the same price! Or, if you're feeling classy, 106 Luger burgers. But hey, if you gotta go big, go cowboy hat big, right?
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For Special
Bugs & Booze: Malört Gets a Cicada Surprise
Forget the Barefoot Wine and cheese plate - a suburban Chicago brewery is serving up the ultimate "Ew, David" party drink: cicada-infused Malört!
That's right, folks. To celebrate the return of the noisy, winged locusts, this brave brewery is turning them into...booze. Apparently, it tastes like lobster (jury's still out on who actually wants Malört to taste like anything).
But hey, cicadas are a protein-packed superfood, according to experts! Think of it as a fancy (and way more terrifying) shrimp cocktail. Just remember to catch 'em young and juicy, and for the love of all that is good, skip the graveyard snacks - dead cicadas are a big no-no.
This isn't the only bug buzz lately. Investors are pouring millions into insect-based food companies, though crickets as croutons might be a tougher sell than cicada cocktails.
So, will Malört's cicada surprise be a hit or a hard pass? There's only one way to find out (and maybe bring some Pepto for after).
See you next week!
Sue
